It was roughly ten years ago when I first began to consider that it may be time to change my favorites. I was down the shore in Wildwood, New Jersey with my boyfriend at the time. Since I was a child, my trips to the beach were reserved for only the best of activities and memories; time enjoyed with loved ones, the soothing sounds of the ocean waves, and enjoying my favorites: fast finger foods and of course, indulging my sweet tooth. In fact, Khor’s Frozen Custard was a staple of these whimsical trips; any flavor would suffice. This was the way I framed my favorite beach day as a child and continued to do so as an adult.
On this particular day with my ex-boyfriend, we took in the thick scent of saltwater as we picked up our cups and enjoyed the view from the boardwalk, basking in the ocean energy and jovial sounds of the day when I heard him say it: “It’s time to change your favorites,” as he eyed the large Peanut Butter-flavored frozen custard in my hand. While I did not appreciate his unsolicited advice nor his blunt delivery, I knew he was making a valid point.
I was in my 40s after all and what was once a “favorite” when I was a kid was now sabotaging my efforts to maintain my weight and live a healthy lifestyle. I needed to reframe my perfect day at the beach; ocean waves, salt water, boardwalk views and perhaps a small frozen custard every now and then.
I needed to look more closely at what would make me happy now that my lifestyle—heck, my life–was changing, revisiting these “favorites” that were no longer serving my needs. Perhaps this is why the phrase lingered in my mind. It’s time to change your favorites. It struck me as both profound and universal the more I thought on it.
It is a concept that most of us need to reckon with at some point in our lives. Changing our favorites; altering our habits over time to reflect our shifting needs. It is a phrase that, at its core, speaks to adaptation and personal growth. Indeed, while I loved my boardwalk routine of lively vibes and savory sweets, it was only when I began to reevaluate my relationship with Khor’s and curly fries that I was able to separate these two concepts, cutting out the sweets while still enjoying the vibes. This is not to say I do not still enjoy a cup of ice cream or a basket of fries to this day, (I certainly do!) but I no longer partake of these things as freely as I once did with every visit to Wildwood and when I do, I am more mindful to sit down to fully enjoy every spoonful. The big shift is that I no longer feel the need to indulge in order to enjoy my day at the beach. Over time I had changed my favorites to more accurately reflect my current lifestyle and cutting out the longtime habits of shoreside ice cream and snacks was a key factor in that.
It’s time to change your favorites. Time has pushed on from that day at the beach. My relationship with my ex too becoming little more than a recollected memory of note. Yet the phrase, like me, has grown. It has taken on a deep significance of its own–a significance that we are, all of us, capable of knowing and reconciling with those things in our lives that are no longer meeting our needs, or worse, hindering our growth. We have a choice to hang on to these obstacles or to change our favorites – pick new ones that meet our needs TODAY as opposed to the needs of yesterday. We only need to recognize when it is time.